My little debate kind of got to me. Oh, I'd never admit it to the one pointing the finger, but it really made me question my adequacy as a mother. Am I a good mother? Do my children fear me? Am I doing a good job?
I could go on and on, and have been in my head, back and forth on the subject. I know I will never pass muster on anyone else's idea of a perfect mother. I yell. I get mad at times. I give myself time outs. They stand in corners, clean up messes, and yes, get soap in their mouths on occasion. But I love them fiercely. There wasn't a happier person at the airport Sunday night than me, watching my James run to me with his dimpled smile, and then Laurel and William following, everyone talking a mile a minute and me getting to hug and kiss them.
Yeah, I'm doing okay. Better everyday, I hope. And in the end, the only ones I have to answer to are my kids and my Heavenly Father. All I can do is my best with the real children I have. Someone with only imaginary, future children at the moment? Her opinion shouldn't even rank.
And just for the record, this post is not meant to solicit compliments on my mothering skills. Just a little online thinking....
The questioning of self and how I did as a mother, never ends. I have to admit that I simply did the best I could at that moment in time. Could it have been better? No question. But that's part of my journey here, is to become better-I'm still on that journey, will be 'til I leave. You love them fiercely, same way I love you.
ReplyDeleteWe do the best we can and then cross our fingers it will be good enough. Being a Mom is HARD.
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