Real Friend or Fake Friend?

Uh-oh, Jennie is waxing philosophical. It's what you get when I've got pregnancy induced insomnia. Can't sleep, so I start thinking.

I want to be a better friend. (And no, this is not fishing for comments on how I already am).

Let me 'splain.

I've been a member on a web board that is mostly women. I usually just go on there for the pregnancy thread and it's pretty supportive. Sometimes I post my own questions, start my own threads. It's here that I find out I really, truly have nothing in common with these strangers. Because no matter how well I think I know them, no matter how personal they might get in describing pregnancy woes, when I find out what they really believe about other things important to me, I find myself feeling rather lonely. Facebook is kinda the same way - I have "friends" on Facebook, but sometimes I go through the list and say "Really? Is that person really a friend or just someone I met and now we're connected in some way?" It's even stranger when you are Facebook friends with someone from church whom you rarely talk to in person. That's weird to me.

I don't know if this comes from moving around so much and finding it difficult to make friends over and over. Oh, I'm friendly at church. I like people. But we're talking kindred spirits here. I've gotten lucky a few times. I'm content knowing that it might not happen again.

I suppose it comes from failure, thus far, in Moscow to make a friend. I go to playgroup and Relief Society meetings and ward activities. I chat with other moms. But I have yet to meet someone who I'd call up and want to hang out with for an afternoon. Doesn't mean I'll stop trying, but it is slightly discouraging. I've tried to not limit myself to just law school wives or other student families. There are some potential buddies out there, but it's going to take some more time.

This is starting to sound like I'm depressed. I am definitely not - in fact, it makes me so grateful for the awesome friends I have. My Mom, who tolerates my phone calls several times a week. Adrienne, Rebecca, Aunt Annette, Rachel. Just wish they weren't all long-distance friendships! But I love you all the same and can't wait to see you again!

So, here's to better friendships, and real ones at that!